Friends 101 莫妮卡的新室友（试播） The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate
五人在Central Perk聊天，Ross为刚刚结束的婚姻而难受，逃婚的Rachel闯了进来，投奔Monica。
Ross为刚刚结束的婚姻而难受
逃婚的Rachel闯了进来
Ross搬到新家，请大家去帮他组装家具，Rachel和Phoebe拒绝，Chandler和Joey与他同去，并鼓励他忘掉过去，重新开始单身生活。
Monica与餐厅的同事——调酒师Paul约会，Paul自称前女友出轨后两年没有爱爱，Monica信以为真，二人共度一夜。次日与女同事交流后才得知被骗，Monica踩坏Paul遗留在家的手表泄愤。
Rachel与父亲和未婚夫Barry摊牌，决定不再回去，在大家的鼓励下剪掉信用卡，并开始到Central Perk当侍应。
罗斯向瑞秋坦白，高中时曾经暗恋她，并问她是否以后能跟她约会；得到瑞秋肯定答复后，他重新燃起了对生活的信心。
本集约会故事：
Monica 1 - Paul
精彩台词：
Phoebe (to Monica): Wait! Does he eat chalk? Just 'cause I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl.
Chandler: ...and I realize, there's a phone..... there.
Chandler: ...and it turns out it's my mother, which is very strange because... she NEVER calls.
Ross (to Phoebe): Nuh-uh, no, no, don't. Stop cleansing my aura!
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. Did I say that out loud?
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman sobbing at 3 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren!" was what? A wrong number?
Rachel: And that's when it hit me--how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Ya know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but...
Rachel (to her father): Well maybe I don't need your money. Wait, wait! I said, "maybe."
Ross: It's Paul the Wine Guy!
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or he just complains a lot?
Phoebe: Ooo... I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
Ross: Aruba? This time of year? Talk about your... big lizards.
Guys: Hey Phoebs, you wanna help?
Phoebe: Oh, gee, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
Phoebe (singing): Love is sweet as summer showers
Love is a wondrous work of art
But your love, oh your love,
Your love is like a giant pigeon
Crapping on my heart.
La la la la la...
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however, have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing, at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Chandler: Stay away from my freezer.
Rachel: See! But Joanie loved Chachi! That's the difference!
Ross: Grab a spoon? Do you know how long it's been since I grabbed a spoon? Do the words, "Billy, don't be a hero" mean anything to you?
Chandler: Alright kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers... it doesn't make much of a difference.
Joey: Of course it was a line!
Monica: Why? Why? Why would anyone do something like that?
Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than, "to get you into bed."
Rachel: They're my new, "I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots" boots.
Ross (to Rachel): The word you're looking for is, "anyway."
Monica: Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it.
Ross: I just grabbed a spoon.
Chandler: Kids, new dream.... I'm in Las Vegas. I'm Liza Minelli...
Rachel – I know that you and I kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Monica – Who wasn't invited to the wedding...?
Rachel – Oh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue
[Rachel is supposed to be cutting up her credit cards]
Everybody – Cut, cut, cut, cut.
Rachel – [cuts a card] You know what? I think we can leave it at that. It was kind of a symbolic gesture...
Monica – Rachel, that was a library card.
[Everybody cheers her on, and she reluctantly cuts a credit card]
Chandler – You know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream.
Monica – [to Rachel] Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You're gonna love it.
Joey – OK Ross, you're getting a divorce... you're angry, you're hurting... can I tell you what the answer is?... STRIP JOINTS! Come on! You're single! Have some hormones!
Ross – But I don't want to be single... I just want to be married again
[Rachel walks in wearing wedding dress]
Chandler – And I just want a million dollars!
Joey – Hey, Phoebs, do you wanna help?
Phoebe – Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
Chandler – All right, kids, I've got to get to work. If I don't input those numbers-... Doesn't make much of a difference.
[as Ross sits down on the sofa, Phoebe begins "cleansing his aura"]
Ross – Oh, no, no. Stop cleansing my aura.
Phoebe – But...
[she continues to "cleanse his aura"]
Ross – No, just leave my aura alone, okay?
Phoebe – Fine. Be murky.
Ross – I'll be fine, really, you guys. I hope she'll be very happy.
Monica – No, you don't.
Ross – No, I don't! To hell with her! She left me!
Joey – You never knew she was a lesbian?
Ross – [stares at Joey] No! Okay? Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know. How should I know?
Chandler – Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
[everyone stares at Chandler]
Chandler – Did I say that out loud?
Ross: – Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I grabbed a spoon? Do the words "Billy, don't be a hero" mean anything to you?
Joey – Great story, but I gotta go. I got a date with Angela... Andrea... Oh, man!
Chandler – Andrea's the screamer, Angela has cats.
Joey – Right, thanks. It's Julie. I'm outta here!
Rachel – Guess what?
Ross – You got a job?
Rachel – Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed at in 12 interviews today.
Chandler – And yet you're surprisingly upbeat.
Rachel – Well, you would be too if you got new boots with 50% off!
Chandler – Oh, how well you know me.
Rachel – It's like all my life everybody keeps telling that I'm a shoe. You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe! But what if I don't want to be a shoe anymore? Maybe I'm a purse, or a hat... I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat! It's a metaphor, daddy!
Ross - I can see where you have trouble.
Phoebe - Wait, does he eat chalk?
Monica - Relax, this isn't even a date, it-- it's not, It's just 2 people going out to dinner and not having sex.
Chandler - Sounds like a date to me.
